bits and bobs of everyday thots

post-hiatus

2010-09-11T22:31:00.000+08:00

*wipes dust off laptop screen*

it sure has been ages since i last blogged (almost a year ago!), which goes on to show that time sure flies. been wanting to update this blog since ages ago, but i kept putting it off, cos it always boiled down to having better things to do than spending a huge chunk of time updating my blog (i don't really like one-liner blog posts/updates!)

so what exactly have i been up to? lots, actually.

there's been lots of changes in the past year. for one, i'm posted in sains rembau now, in a quaint lil place called kundur (negeri sembilan sure has many funny places for its towns!). a huge change from my previous school. for one, there are girls here! and also, i've got 13 year olds and 14 year olds to teach too, in addition to the form 4s that i've gotten so used to. it took a lot of adjustments, (not to mention headaches!) and patience, but i finally got the hang of it. and loved it.

for once, i don't have to worry about trials this year, since i don't have exam classes to teach (what a relief!). but much of our time this year (at home) was spent planning for my sister and brother's double wedding, which is in a week or so. which is probably the reason i didn't really feel like celebrating aidilfitri this year.

not that i'm turning into a cynic or a jaded person, but somehow the magic is gone from hari raya aidilfitri. first is because everything is so commercialised- from clothes to raya cookies to pretty much everything else. it used to be so much more special celebrating aidilfitri while we were growing up (probably because at the time, we get to collect duit raya instead of having to give it out these days!)

and, one of the important changes i went through is that i finally worked up enough courage to start driving (again)..my licence was in cold storage for around 6 years before i familarised myself behind the steering wheel again, but it's still a huge start. we've got to start somewhere, eh? and credit goes to kak roslina for her wisdom and encouragement. sure couldn't have done it without you, sis!

here's wishing everyone a happy aidilfitri. take care!

a new chapter

2009-11-28T19:52:00.000+08:00

Today marks a new day in my life. It's surprising that the last three months of 2009 brought the most significant changes of my life.

October 2009-

Transfer to new school. SM Sains Rembau. I would be lying if I said I didn't shed tears upon learning of the news, shocking as it was. Whatever the reason, I had no inkling whatsoever that I was going to be transferred. Painful as it was, I would've preferred if I was personally informed of the decision.

But then again, come to think of it, it's a blessing in disguise. The transfer did me a world of good. For one, it brought me the peace and tranquility that I've yearned for. And the people in the new school are all very nice. I guess having a shared goal really helps.

November 2009-

Joined Herbalife (today!), after much consideration. It's not so much that I want to lose (more weight), I do..but what is more important is that I want to lead a healthier life. To be more energetic. Cos after all, 70% of cases reported in clinics are attributed to eating habits. So, yes, I guess, it is one of my new year resolutions. Many thanks to my coach for encouraging me to make that first step.

Wish me luck!

How to Cure Our Racist Disease

2009-09-16T15:03:00.000+08:00

How to cure our racist disease? (sharing an entry at letusaddvalue.blogspot.com-thanks Anas, for letting me share this interesting article!)

In a recent interview, I was asked what steps we can take to promote ethnic harmony in our country. How can we cure ourselves from our racist tendencies? I suggested that if we want to ensure success we must tackle this problem at the various levels.
They are in order of importance, the individual, the family (home), pre-school, school, college & tertiary, the workplace and finally other organizations like interest groups, political parties and the government.

The first two are the most important starting points although the majority tends to focus on the final two. I say do what we can do first. In that way, slowly but surely things will get better.

So here are my suggestions for you to consider. As my idea is easily doable, please have a go at it. At the least it will make you feel good about yourself. Why? Because you know you are doing the right thing. You will be sending your children to a peaceful future as oppose to a possible bloodshed.

I call this simple method, “Ten good things you can tell your children about …” They are part of my experiences during my early socialization growing up in Penang. They are not exhaustive. Feel free to add value to the list.

Practice them over and over again. Drum them in and see the effects in a year or two.

Here we go in alphabetical order

Ten good things you can tell your children about theChinese

1)They work hard and set high standards therefore they are rich.
2)They are good in business, therefore they are rich
3)Even when they are rich, they lead a simple life and many donate their money freely
4)They are good at saving money and know how to delay gratification.
5)They are a discipline lot. They eat dinner early; finish their schoolwork and study before watching the TV.
6)Chinese parents really care and are serious about education – they are willing to sell their property and move to a smaller home so that their children can be educated in a good college overseas
7)They share with us the joys of Gong Xi Fa Chai and gave us angpows
8)They respect their elders
9)When the rest of us were still poor it was the rich Chinese who pay taxes. With that money the government builds schools, hospitals, roads, etc benefiting everyone regardless of race.
10)And, they make the best Ais-kacang, Len Chi Kang andPenang Laksa!

Ten good things you can tell your children about the Eurasians

1)They are fun to be with, they sing, they dance and throw the best barbeques and parties
2)They make friends easily
3)They give freely, they like to share
4)They make good neighbors
5)They are always concern about others so they make real good teachers, nurses and social workers; always helping, helping, helping!
6)They speak English well, you can learn from them
7)They somehow always are able to see the positive side of life
8)Though marginalized they do not demand much like the rest of us
9)They share the joy of Christmas with you
10)They make the best nasi lemak ever!!!

Ten good things you can tell your children about the Indians

1)They make great company; never boring, always fun
2)They know how to laugh at themselves.
3)They are passionate people, especially the Punjabis.
4)They gave us the best danceable music
5)They do not complain much even when some of us are insensitive and serve beef during our functions
6)They truly respect and care for their parents and elders. There are always some old folks living with them.
7)They are hardy, strong, resilient and tough. They reach Mount Everest for us Malaysian
8)They share the joy of Deepavali with us
9)Without them we would have not being able to produce rubber and be the number one rubber producer for so many years
10)The introduce one of the most important food to us – the curry!

Ten good things you can tell your children about the Malays

1)They are gentle and peramah, the nicest people around
2)They make loyal, long time friends.
3)They will share with you everything that they have; their food, their wealth, their power and their land.
4)They are good neighbors, caring and sharing. Gotong royong is their middle name.
5)They are artistic, cultured and sensitive
6)They are willing to compromise. Their leaders lead not just their own race but also all Malaysians
7)They know how to relax
8)They are easily won over – give them half a chance to make peace, they will grab it. Always giving in.
9)They share with you the joys of Hari Raya Puasa
10)They make the best sambal belacan & sambal ikan kering& sambal petai in the world!
Ten good things you can tell your children about the Bidayuh
1)They respect the women and the elderly.
2)They like to ‘nyera’ which is a Bidayuh version of pot luck a lot with friends and family
3)Bidayuhs have really strong family ties
4)They are very caring about their neighbours; if the neighbors are drunk, they’ll let them sleep over at their houses!
5)They are willing to ‘gotong-royong’ when needed
6)They have very energetic kids and they are fun to play with
7)Their grandparents will spend time to tell epic stories on Bidayuh legends to their grandchildren
8)They are proud to dance the Bidayuh dance during Gawai Dayak
9)They play very good music
10) They make delicious 'pangkang' which is lemang in Malay.
Ten good things you can tell your children about the Kadazans
1) They have humble beginnings and strive hard to be better. Though they are rich, they still lead a simple life
2) Family and children are most important.
3) They respect the elders and will live with the old folks for as long as possible.
4) Parents are serious about their children’s education. They will go all out to ensure that their children are educated so that the children can have a better life.
5) They hold on to various ancestral traditions regardless of how modern the environment is – especially the ‘Kadazan-Dusun’ language.
6) They are good neighbours and are always concerned about the well being of others.
7) They always see the positive side of life.
8) They share with you the joys of the Harvest Festival especially the crowning of the ‘Harvest Festival Queen’.
9) They enjoy performing the ‘Sumazau’ dance during weddings and festivals.
10) They make the best tapai what we know as rice wine, bambangan or pickle, hinava or marinated raw fish and panasakan or steamed fish.

If you found many of the good things I suggested about the other ethnic groups similar to your own, don’t be alarmed. We are more similar then we think. We are One.

Meme: Save Yvonne's Sight

2009-09-14T21:52:00.000+08:00

I came across this touching story while on Facebook, thanks to Anas Zubedy. I don't know Yvonne personally, and nor does she know me. But as a human being, I believe we can always help others the best way we know how.

Since last April Yvonne has been raising funds for the operations she needs to treat her neurofibromatosis which causes tumors to grow inside her body.

About six months ago, Yvonne lost her hearing. Now she's losing her eyesight and needs another operation. The operation is due in December and cost of the surgery is RM154,770 plus hospital stay for two weeks is RM3219.

She has already raised RM10, 000 and need more. She's hoping to raise the rest by republishing her book I'm Not Sick, Just A Little Bit Unwell in English and Chinese. The books are now available in Malaysian bookshops and from her website store. She is also selling T-shirts at bazaars and via her web site store.

You can read about her surgery and donate to her fund here.

You can also help by sending on this meme. If you do, please follow these meme rules:

Create a blog entry titled "Meme: Save Yvonne's Sight"

List three things you love to see. Add in the picture of Yvonne's book cover. The URL is http://www.yvonnefoong.com/images/banner/my-story.jpg
End with the line, "Yvonne Foong is in danger of losing her eyesight thanks to neurofibromatosis (NF). Please find out how you can help her by visiting her blog at http://www.yvonnefoong.com
Tag 5 blog friends. Be sure to copy the rules, OK?
If you have a Facebook account, please check out Ellen's new invention, a "feme" pronounced FEEM, a meme designed for Facebook here. And if you want to blog about NF, that would be great too!
I'm tagging the following blogger friends to ask them to help:

sweekheng

nawal

tanggang

iqbal

dr farhana

7. Three things I wish to do see:

a) The smiles on my parents' faces when I eventually settle down

b) The beautiful beaches of Pangkor

c) San Marino High School (when I was there 92-93)

*Yvonne Foong is in danger of losing her eyesight thanks to neurofibromatosis (NF). Please find out how you can help her by visiting her blog at http://www.yvonnefoong.com

what does it mean to be malaysian?

2009-09-09T10:09:00.002+08:00

sometimes, I'm ashamed to be Malaysian.

we claim that 'budi bahasa budaya kita', but I hardly see proof of the fact.

we claim that we are 'multiracial', and 'multicultural', but we are actually like oil and water, together, but never really blending, like in a melting pot.

so, by what yardstick do we identify ourselves as 'malaysian'?

The Letter I Would Like to Read to You in Person

2009-09-04T14:03:00.002+08:00

i got this beautiful piece from http://rogue.ph/columns/entry/the_letter_i_would_love_to_read_to_you_in_person/

As this letter to his beloved in Slovenia displays, his relationship with local cinema is still very much like a long-distance love affair.

My Dear Nika,
I’ve been asked to write a column for this issue of Rogue, and the topic given to me was myself. I’ve always felt it awkward to write in public spaces about personal motivations behind the work I choose to do, so I have decided to use you as an excuse: there are things that you must know, that you may sense but not understand unless I tell you, and so I shall use this opportunity to put them on paper.

Besides, how could I say no to this offer when just the other day you recalled how an essay that was written by the solicitor of this column—in a previous incarnation of this magazine—played a central role in our being together? One must pay back one’s debts . . .

When we met in Rotterdam last January there was something about you that struck me immediately. It was not your beauty, or rather, not just your beauty, but your manner of speaking: which now sixteen months later still demands so much of me. There is a precious intensity in your gestures, the way in which your eyes dart and hands reach out to grab the right word, that illustrates how strong a desire you have to communicate, especially when the conversation turns toward the things that matter to you—the integrity of your work, the importance of nature, the concern for your brother. (I know what you’re thinking—shut up! I’m not a native speaker!—but this isn’t a question of familiarity with language.)

We both did not arrive at the festival in the best of conditions: you in ill health and from the disappointment of not closing the latest issue of Ekran before leaving Slovenia (compounded by you missing your flight and multiplied by a year’s fatigue of battling for editorial independence) and I from the solitude of learning to live alone, and of not yet having come to terms with the abrupt death of my father seven months before (something which, as you know, I am still attempting to do).

I wasn’t in a very good place the months before we met, reckless and hurried in my interactions with new acquaintances, but in Rotterdam it was hard not to fight for clarity and calm when the person before you, beleaguered and weary as they were, would still refuse to let their words slip carelessly . . .

I know sometimes you may think that it was the fact that we worked in the same field that attracted me to you, but I must tell you that this couldn’t be farther from the truth. Why? Because one of the greatest joys I believe one can feel is to share that which they find beautiful with someone who otherwise wouldn’t have noticed it, and to see it appreciated. This is the main reason why I love teaching and why I refuse to show Lord of the Rings to my students (no matter how fervently my co-teachers insist). It is also the evidence that cinema isn’t what brings us nearer to each other: because in this regard, we are on equal footing, and I must instead find other things in me to share with you. For anyone who knows me, they know how difficult that is . . .

Does a place mean more than a person? Does my work in the Philippines mean more than the possibility of a life with you, somewhere, anywhere else?

But Rogue wants to hear about cinema! Or at least about my work and what I have done in it. Why it means so much to me, and why I have done the things that I have. So it is about cinema that I must write! Some of this may seem like things you have heard, my dear Nika, but don’t worry, if I am successful it will all come together in the end, and you will see why it relates to you, to us, and to the future.

Allow me to begin with a story, one of which you may be quite familiar.

In 1997, my father decided that my brother Chris and I, together with my mother, should return to the Philippines (my father as you know had been going back and forth between Manila and Vancouver, never growing quite comfortable in Canada. Remind me to make you a copy of the essay “Where’s the patis?”).

We had moved to Canada in 1983, leaving the Philippines just a few months before the death of Ninoy Aquino and just a few months after my second birthday.

Like most teenagers, I was still growing comfortable in my own skin, or rather trying to, and the thought of moving to another country for my last two years of High School petrified me. I resisted: on one hand, I protested to my parents that I wanted nothing to do with a country that was so class conscious and so corrupt (though I didn’t mind going there for vacation . . . ), and on the other hand, inside, I just didn’t want to deal with attempting to infiltrate ill-fated High School social circles in a new country. I was also completely devastated about having to leave the first girl I ever slow danced with in my high school life—Melodie Pangan—who I’m sure never thought of me as anything more than a friend, but who I still called dramatically from the airport, in tears, telling her I loved her for the first time. But I digress . . .

My father seduced my brother and I with the promise of round-the-clock air conditioning and a driver to take us wherever we wanted, which admittedly made the move easier to take (so much for my 16-year old defiance of class consciousness). Both of which, as it turned, were just selling points: things he was able, but unwilling, to provide.

As you know, we are five children in my family, but only Chris and I, together with my Mom, moved back. The primary excuse for it being just he and I was that we were the two youngest, and since Chris was just preparing to enter College and I was finishing my last two years of High School, we would both be able to adjust easier. But the other reason was also that we were men and, as men in the Philippines, he had wanted to groom us to take over the family business, to help maintain what he had established, or build on top of it. The primary reason, I believe, for him wanting my mother to come back was so that Chris and I would. We had grown quite close to my Mom over the years in Vancouver, as my Dad was often away, and he knew that her agreeing to go was the key to being able to bring us back. On the part of my Mom, she was settled in Vancouver, she wasn’t comfortable having helpers live in the house, and was used to cooking and cleaning herself and looking after us. She moved back for him, because he asked her to.

Two years passed, and my mother moved back to Vancouver. She had been battling bouts of depression caused by their fights, by her lack of control of the family, and it was decided that she would go to Vancouver for a while for therapy. I didn’t know at the time that it would be for good, it was supposed to be for two months. She returned for the first time in 2006 for my father’s funeral.

My brother Chris never quite settled in the Philippines. One theory we have was that he never got to imbibe the culture in a manner deeper than gimmicks in Makati—and as a majority of his good friends were foreigners and he had no Tagalog classes, he didn’t learn the language much. The other possibility is that he just wasn’t used to living under my father’s watchful eye. He graduated from University in June of 2001, and by August he moved back to Vancouver.

The first impulse of any good film critic, and to this I think you would agree, must be of love.

What was left of my Dad’s dream—of keeping the family together in the Philippines and of one of his sons taking a keen interest in the business? Me. And just me. With less people living in it, the house had more space, and I no longer shared my room with anyone, but I felt more and more suffocated. Upon graduating with my studies directed towards business management, I began working for my father. I lasted from June to November of 2004 before admitting that I couldn’t do it any longer. I would tell you I quit. My father told relatives at family gatherings he fired me. Either story will do now; it doesn’t really matter.

Sender: Dad
Date: 24-04-2006
Time: 05:19:51pm

“BF 2 GF’s rich dad: I wana mari ur dauter,
Dad: Do u work?
BF: Im a theology scholar.
Dad: Can u afford a weding?
BF: God wil provide.
Dad: Wat about a haus, raising a family & education of d kids?
BF: God wil provide.
Later…Mom: How’d it go dad?
Dad: D guy’s poor, & he thinks Im God!”
Sender: Dad
Date: 24-04-2006
Time: 05:22:32pm

“BF 2 GF’s rich dad: I wana mari ur dauter,
Dad: Do u work?
BF: Im a Unvrsty Profsor nd a film critic.
Dad: Can u afford a weding?
BF: God wil provide.
Dad: Wat about a haus, raising a family & education of d kids?
BF: God wil provide.
Later…Mom: How’d it go dad?
Dad: D guy’s poor, & he thinks Im God!”

I never wanted to be a film critic. To this day I abhor using the term for myself, but I’ve begun to do so regularly, just because it makes life easier.

Many filmmakers, especially filmmakers in the Philippines, have a problem with the word critic. We have little to no culture of healthy polemics in the country, as any attempt to consider fault is taken as a personal attack. Rare are those that are able to deal with it properly. One particular filmmaker took objection to the idea of a publication that I was to edit using the title “Criticine”: he had a problem with the word critic being included. A nasty term, I suppose he thought.

The first impulse of any good film critic, and to this I think you would agree, must be of love. To be moved enough to want to share their affection for a particular work or to relate their experience so that others may be curious. This is why criticism, teaching, and curating or programming, in an ideal sense, must all go hand in hand.

The first proper review of a Filipino film that I wrote was on Lav Diaz’s Batang West Side. I knew I liked movies, had even harbored thoughts of making them at one point, and I certainly took a measure of pride in being looked to by my peers as someone whose opinion was worth seeking. But despite this, and despite the surprising satisfaction of first seeing my name in print, I never had any interest in writing film criticism in any serious way.

It was not writing the review of Batang West Side (which I was quite proud of at the time, but look at with a bit of embarrassment for its simplicity today) that changed things for me, but rather what took place before and after writing it: the complete lack of engaging, intelligent writing on the film that engaged more than just the length. (Conrado de Quiros tried, and perhaps his championing was more important than the actual text.) Batang West Side, as you now, is 5-hours long, and if you read most of the articles that I mentioned (I dare not say discussed), this would likely be all that you knew. Even Jessica Zafra, after organizing a screening of the film through her engaging-if-but-short-lived FLIP Magazine (and having commissioned an article from Lav), proceeded to make crude jokes about the film in the letters section of the succeeding issue.

I was a junior in college when the film premiered, and in the five years I had lived in the Philippines, the closest I had come to connecting with culture via cinema were a few jokes in April, May, June, a film about three sisters starring the then quite popular Alma Concepcion and maybe SPO1 Don Juan: Da Dancing Policeman, starring the great Leo Martinez. Needless to say, Batang West Side was a departure, not only in length, but in aesthetic: its rhythm, the distance from the camera to its subject, the duration in which shots were held, the construction of the discourse (equally about past as about present), and most especially in its attitude towards its audience—its stubborn refusal to give in to our inherent need for a neat ending, instead forcing us to draw our own conclusions.

I wasn’t prepared for Batang West Side. I hadn’t heard of Lav Diaz and simply attended because it was during Cinemanila, and it’s not everyday someone makes a film of that length. I was curious. The film stuck with me. Especially so as one of the first films that made me think concretely about what it meant to be Filipino, about the pitfalls of migration. Perils that, I think for the first time now as I type this, my Dad probably understood better than anyone. It’s a shame he never got to see the film.

It was now a full year after Batang West Side premiered, a good few months after I wrote the article, and still little literature was available on the film. I contacted Lav and asked if I could interview him, to which he obliged graciously. The interview ran close to an hour, and I asked him all the questions I wished others had.

Happy with the results, which ran 12 pages long and was published on the website Indiefilipino.com (may she rest in peace, how I loved her so!), I used all the prepaid credit I had to text most everyone mildly interested in cinema in my modest phonebook to plug it. Hardly any of them responded, of course, but there were notes of appreciation on Indiefilipino’s forums, and it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

There were people, it turned out, who were interested in reading serious writing on serious cinema—it just had to be written and published somewhere accessible.

so where does it go from here?

2009-08-14T23:07:00.002+08:00

ok, up to now, there have been 56 deaths attributed to the (deadly) h1n1 virus.

how many more deaths does it take before someone REALLY goes to work and finally TAKES ACTION?

or, in the classic Malaysian sense, does some politician/royalty/celebrity/famous personality's child/family has to die first, before someone actually takes this seriously?

we're all worried. telling us that more and more people are dead because of h1n1 isn't really going to help soothe our emotions.

what we all need is the reassurance that something is being done to make sure that the number of casualties dwindle and eventually drop to zero.

any takers?

downer

2009-06-05T01:17:00.003+08:00

wah.mentang2 cuti rajin je jari ni main2 kat keyboard laptop nih. padahal kerja banyak, paper tak abis tanda lagi but who cares..nanti aku mark jugak paper tu. cos i'm not the kind of person who can coolly shirk the responsibilities entrusted to me...tak caya tanya bos. kan bos, kan?

malam ni dinner kat luar lagi.. tetiba ayah ajak makan kat luar, so kitorang pun apa lagi, pucuk dicita ulam mendatang la jawabnya. pastu ayah tanya nak makan kat mana. aku dengan gembiranya jawab la 'damansara uptown' sbb aku suka variety of food kat situ. and harga dia pun boleh tahan, selamat poket. confirm korang xkena cuci pinggan kalau x cukup pun duit nak bayar. last2 skali, we went to section 20 to check out this new outlet called 'restoran yusram' (bunyi pun macam seram jek).

restoran ni decor dia cantik. ambience pun best. pendek kata, it's an upmarket thai restaurant la. macam mana tak upmarket, prices for the food items start at rm15 kalau x silap. sapa2 yang nak jalan2 cari makan kat sini baik x payah. don't get me wrong. food dia sedap. but burn a biiiiiiiggg hole in ur pocket. baik korang makan kat secret recipe ke, laksa shack ke...lagi puas ati.

so setelah kecewa tengok menu dia yang agak mahal, kitorang pun tanya waiter (sorang je tau waiter dia kat kedai ni..save budget kot sbb dah habis duit beli pos system n decor yang confirm mahal) if they have any noodles on the menu. and time tu la tuan punya kedai mintak waitress tu bawak 'kertas yang kecik tu'. mak aih. bunyi macam sedikit menghina pun ada di situ. nasib baik aku bukan jenis yang cepat makan hati. kalau tak, confirm makcik tu kena lempang dah.

so, at the end of the day, semua orang order noodles jek. aku xnk order nasi goreng walaupun hati tergaru2 nak makan nasi goreng sbb time tu dah 9pm. kalau makan gak, jawabnya tido terbeliak la aku mlm ni. and aku rasa makcik kedai ni ada kilang garam sendiri kot. sbb most of the noodles yang dia masak agak masin. mama yang kuat makan masin pun cakap camtu. aku, apatah lagi. masin kuasa lapan la jawabnya.

dan bil pun datang. rm 56.80 kot, kalau x silap. agak bengong jugak sbb mkn noodles je pun sampai almost rm6o. kalau makan kat secret recipe dah kenyang tergolek2 dah (eh, melampau pulak perumpamaan)

andai kata tuan punya kedai baca post aku ni,tlg jgn cari aku ke lubang cacing. am just telling the truth. sbb mama kata, tak baik tipu. in this case, tipu sunat pun x boleh gak. lagipun, customer is always right kan?

nampaknya terpaksa la cari port makan yang lain pasni. sbb aku dah agak boring dgn kedai kopi kat tasik.

esok dengar cerita nak g midvalley. gumbiranya. boleh cari kasut... *wink*

my new toy(s)

2009-06-03T23:13:00.004+08:00

beberapa ari lepas aku heret muna g mid valley untuk aktiviti jalan2 cari pasal. boring dok umah waktu cuti, even though exam paper ada 4 bundles tak tanda lagi. takpe. ada masa lagi. ceh. tunggu last minute pastu kelam kabut marking tak siap lagi. analysis pun lum buat. takpe. yala, daripada dok kat umah, tido, tgk tv, makan, dan mcm2 aktiviti tak produktif baik aku g jalan2 kat mid valley, kan? bagus punya logik.

sampai mid valley, the first thing kitorg buat is pegi makan. kat kenny rogers. apasal aku x nak pegi food junction? sebab: 1) food junction tu jauh kat atas 2) aku malas nak jalan all the way up (naik escalator pun tak mau) 3) dah lapar tahap asbestos. lagipun dah lama tak makan kat sana. my favourite eating place. dan sedikit privacy. boleh lepak2 dan tak berapa bising (sbb aku tau food junction mesti bising, crowded dan memang aku tak suka tempat2 yg time ni crowded dgn bebudak skola n college).

so, abis makan, aku dan muna jalan2 untuk accomplish misi seterusnya. beli handbag. ok, aku memang ada handbag nak bawak g ofis ari2, tapi x sesuai la kalo nak bawak g jenjalan kat midvalley. aritu pun pinjam handbag mama. x kisah la janji i have a place to put all my stuff.

penat jalan2 cari handbag. sbb semuanya bukan taste aku. masuk mcm2 kedai tapi keluar dgn frust. elle, sachs, eclipse, carlo rino, dan yang sama waktu dengannya. sbb most of these places jual handbag yang stok nak bawak g keje.so they're either too small, too big, or the colour is not my taste. susah tul nak cari handbag ni. cerewet gak rupanya aku. (tapi bukan selalu tau, kengkadang je...)

disebabkan dah bosan jalan2 cari handbag tapi tak jumpa2, aku pun ajak muna naik atas g kedai dell. so aku pun pusing2 dalam kedai dell nak cari laptop yang aku berkenan. first rule is that aku taknak beli dell inspiron. ces, blagaknya. sbnarnya sbb aku minat dell studio. tapi agak frust sbb yg in stock ada kaler black and red jek. disebabkan aku tak suka benda2 typical, dan aku tak suka ikut orang, i picked the red dell. tapi tgh syok2 adam al-shaheed (nama salesperson tu la) explain kat aku features dell studio 1435, ada lak kawanku call mengadu. mengadu pasal apa? rahsia. mak aku kata, tak baik mengumpat. so aku simpan je la cite tu antara aku + dia. orang lain x payah tau. takde kena mengena dengan korang pun.

so at the end of the day, i got myself a new toy. a brand new chili red dell studio 1435. tapi aku agak frust sbb microsoft office suite yang aku beli rupanya takde publisher. sbb kat skola selalu kena wat buku program.. nampaknya terpaksa la aku pinjam pc bilik ketua bidang kalo nak pakai publisher. takpe. macam tak biasa pulak....

then adam gave me the laptop bag that came complimentary with the laptop. tapi aku frust sbb ingatkan dapat backpack..rupanya dapat laptop bag biasa jek. so aku pun dengan rela hati g derma beg tu kat adik2 aku kat rumah. tak kisah la siapa pun yang dapat. and i got myself a notebook backpack yang sangat comel. gila banyak zip dia sampai aku pun naik confused mana satu zip yang nak kena tutup. and i got myself an external hard drive, cap buffalo. nasib baik bukan cap ayam. cos hard drive lama dah jahanam, aku pun tak tau camne jahanam. ganas betul aku ni rupanya.

so, dah lepas abis shopping laptop dan adik beradiknya, aku sambung lagi ekspedisi mencari handbag. this time masuk jusco pulak. last resort. sbb aku tau jusco tgh sale. muna dah nak pengsan so aku suh dia duduk kat tempat kasut jek. at the end, it was a toss between sembonia and elle.. sembonia tu functional tapi dia agak formless. mcm beg makcik2 pulak. sembonia yg lagi satu tu cute tp is not what i needed. so last2 aku grab the elle bag. sgt roomy dan sesuai untuk aku yang suka menyumbat mcm2 dlm handbag.ya, aku memang x suka matematik. tapi that day aku berjaya menggunakan matematik dengan jayanya. tapi kira percentage diskaun je la. my favourite part of shopping...

so, sesudah aku berjaya buli muna ikut aku shopping, aku buli emi pulak. tapi tak berapa berjaya sbb dia tak mau pick up kitorg kat midvalley. blame it on the jam. so, kitorg naik komuter sampai kl sentral, then grabbed a cab to angkasapuri. then off to pandan, emi's place. lepak kat sana jap, tgk aquarium baru dia yang sangat comel, siap ada ikan bandaraya albino n udang kecik 10 ekor yang suka main nyorok2.

at last, sampai rumah, sgt penat. balik terus tido. tak peduli dunia ni nak meletup ke, apa ke, biarkan.

nampaknya tak berjaya g tgk muvi dalam ekspedisi nih. terpaksa buat ekspedisi muvi lain kali pulak. takpe. cuti banyak lagi..

ada apa dengan saser

2009-06-03T01:36:00.004+08:00

saser sesuatu yang istimewa. tak percaya? tanyala sesiapa pun yang pernah jadi warga saser.

skrg ni ramai ex-saserians yang kecoh sbb saser akan 'dijenamakan semula' dengan nama sm sains tuanku muhriz/kolej tunku muhriz/mcm2 lagi nama yang setakat ni masih x belum confirm lagi setakat ni..

sebagai org yang dah lama kat saser, i understand the sentiments people have about saser. saser, sekolah 'bundle', 'sekolah antik' yang memang ternyata istimewa kepada semua saserians. walaupun sekolah kami tak la grand mcm sbp yang lain, we work with what we have. aku berani jamin, korang xkan jumpa cikgu2 mcm yang ada kat saser. rasanya kalau setakat balik sekolah kul 6 tu bukan benda yang pelik bagi cikgu2 saser yang komited demi memastikan anak2 murid semua sukses. walaupun takde overtime, cikgu2 saser x pernah turn down those who are in need. (aku rasa, kalau dapat claim overtime, dah lama aku bwk bmw 325i g skolah...)

hadiah hari guru yang paling best bukannya bunga berbakul2 or teddy bear besar orang. hadiah paling mahal is bila dengar khabar saserians dpt scholarship yang best2 such as sime darby, bank negara, shell, khazanah, dan yang sama waktu dengannya.. masa tu rasanya terbayar semua penat lelah mengajar anak2 murid kat saser nih. so, bila anak2 murid batch sekarang ni agak kurang adab dgn cikgu, rasa kecik ati tu memang confirm ada.

sebab sekarang saserians batch 7 &8 hidup senang. tak payah angkat katil naik asrama, kemas sekolah, dan mcm2 lagi yang students 1st and 2nd batch buat.. dulu semuanya kalau nak training, buat sendiri. masa tu saser miskin, tak ada siapa yang pandang. nak panggil jurulatih luar pun tak mampu. aku ingat lagi, ada ex-saserians 1st n 2nd batch pernah kata, dulu diorg malu kalau jalan sebelah tkcians. sbb diri rasa sangat kecik, tak la macam nama tkc yang memang gah sejak dulu, g mana2 pun org confirm kenal. tapi sekarang, alhamdulillah, jenama saser tu satu 'brand' yang sangat disegani.

saser memang special, to me. kat sini aku belajar erti jadi cikgu. belajar handle sekolah all boys yang cerdik, tapi nakal. belajar hidup dalam kalangan manusia yang bermacam ragam. dan satu benda yang tak mungkin aku lupa, masa saser jadi johan ppm english debate 2006. punyalah excited masa announcement of results sampai aku lupa yang aku pakai high heels waktu tu. kenangan tu memang antara kenangan paling best aku kat saser nih.

untuk anak2 murid saserians, biarla nama berubah jadi nama apa sekalipun, yang penting korang teruskan semangat saser, so that kita sentiasa jadi yang terbaik. itu jauh lebih penting dari kekalkan nama saser tapi perangai saserians tak serupa orang.

jangan lupa hormati guru,kawan2, makcik2 cleaner, pakcik jaga sekolah, makcik2 dm & kantin, and sesiapa pun yang ada kat bumi saser. sebab kejayaan kita sumbangan diorang jugak. tak guna kalau korang sebut "maafkan kami cikgu, halalkan ilmu kami cikgu, doakan kami spm straight a, cikgu" kalau itu cuma mainan bibir and doesn't come from your heart.

apa2 pun, 'saser, namamu tetap teratas'

aku sayang saser.

:: coming up for air ::

2009-06-02T07:58:00.002+08:00

lamanya x blog. ya Allah, berabuknya blog ni. amat2 bz, thank God now it's the school holidays, so I have time to catch my breath.

two days ago, aku g tgk bdk2 debate. konon2 nak cuti dr jaga debate for a year, which includes x nk g tgk debate hksbp. tp when it's held in ssp, which is within travelling distance (read: bullying my sister into driving me there), kaki rasa gatal je nak pegi. i can't help it. i love watching debates. thn ni diorg tukar format. instead of giving out the actual motions, thn ni diorg bg themes jek. the actual motion will be released one hour prior to the actual debate. and cikgu xleh join masa quarantine time.

tp aku sempat tgk satu debate jek. itu pun pegi dh petang. (sbb driver sibuk g wedding kawan dia). but from what i see, the boys are good. much better than last year.

semlm x dpt pegi. sbb aku g midvalley beli laptop. kenapa x beli kat low yat? sbb aku nk gak cap 'dell' kat laptop nih. laptop lama dah seberang laut, kat bandung. so terpaksa beli baru sbb susah nk wat keje kalo harap pc skola yg dh nak jadi tukun n pinjam laptop org lain (sbb org lain pun byk keje gak). so at last dpt gak laptop kaler merah (cos it was a toss between red n black, and i went for red)

in the morning, saser went into d quarterfinal (tp x ingat lwn siapa), n won. and dana got best speaker. in the semis, jumpa ssp. tapi kalah. so x dpt la kitorg dok stage picc thn nih. (we were so close, tp xde rezeki, nak buat camane). in a way, i'm proud that my alma mater won. tp sedih sbb my boys kalah. takpe, cuba tahun depan.

jap lagi nak kena mengadap test paper yang dok memanggil2 dari minggu lepas nih. tapi Tuhan je tau betapa malasnya aku nk gerak (tp time dok depan laptop ni rajin pulak, kan? pelik...)

pasni kalendar makin sibuk. ada latihan pusat hoki, pastu hoki sbp (kat bkt jalil), then program utk form 5....mcm2 lagi. nama pun dok kat saser. nak wat camne, work keeps me alive, and gives me purpose.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

ckp pasal saser, ex students skrg semua sibuk dgn protes nak tukar nama saser. i understand their sentiments. ya la, tempat jatuh lagi dikenang, inikan pula tempat bermain. banyak yg kami belajar dari bumi saser nih. dari sekolah buruk yg sdar tinggalkan, cikgu 16 org je (kalau tak silap), pc kat skolah ada 4 je..dgn bekalan air yang kdg2 xde...dan mcm2 masalah lagi. semua kitorg redah je.

that's why aku kengkadang marah bila bebudak batch sekarang ni mcm x appreciate apa yang abang senior diorang buat untuk letakkan saser kat tahap sekarang ni. diorang yang cipta sejarah. korang tumpang nama je, sebenarnya. korang belum cipta sejarah sendiri lagi. so jangan nak banyak cengkadak complain mcm2 pasal skola. skola takde aircond, xleh main playstation, dan mcm2 lagi. apa? korang ingat saser ni hotel ke boleh live in such comfort? nama pun skola asrama. mcm mana nak belaja idup dalam dunia serba mencabar kalau x lepas idup kat saser?

aku sayang saser. tapi kalau the powers that be decree that saser kena tukar nama, aku ikut je. bukan sebab aku x sayang saser, atau xnak fight untuk kekalkan nama saser, tp sebab 'saya yang menurut perintah'. lagipun, yang penting bukannya nama. yang penting, all of us work hard to make sure our school come out tops. mcm shakespeare kata, "a rose by any other name is just as sweet...."

aku penat

2009-05-13T12:18:00.002+08:00

cepat la cuti skola.

mentally tired nih.

if i'm physically tired, senang jek. balik rumah, landing kat mana2 pun confirm lelap.

tapi, if i'm mentally tired, tidur la lama pun, still penat gak time bangun. it takes a looooong time to recoup my energy.

tak sabar nak cuti skola nih. boleh g jalan2, kacau debaters kat hksbp (mentang2 aku x jadi team advisor thn ni..blagak!)...ukur jalan kat mid valley...tgk muvi sampai pengsan... dan mcm2 lagi perkara2 best yang dlm kepala nih.

oh, lupa. before that, kena make sure exam papers dah siap mark dulu. hehe. nanti takleh cuti dalam ketenangan. kan?

inconsiderate young people

2009-04-30T22:29:00.003+08:00

i was pretty pissed from the moment i set foot in the ktm train from seremban, right until i reached the shah alam station.

never mind that it was the day before the labour day weekend, or that the train was 99% full (it was so full i could barely move).

never mind that everyone was pushing and shoving pretty much everyone else just to get a spot in the train.

what irked me the most was not only the sheer volume of the commuters. one fact that disturbed me was the fact that there were many residential school students (mara/sbp/other schools).nothing wrong with that, really. but what made my blood boil was the sheer insensitiveness and selfishness of these kids. i mean, you're young, healthy, and i don't think the civics lesson they teach at school really did any of these kids any good. none of them gave up their seats for those who needed them more (read: older people, who can't really stand up for a long time).. cos all they cared about was just to have fun, laugh, crack stupid jokes among themselves, or sleep. (ok, i'm not blaming the few who were sleeping, but i'm more irritated by those who were laughing so loud like the train was theirs!)

so, 1 malaysia, or otherwise, someone should knock some sense into these kids. they should learn to be more courteous and civic minded, and not just think of themselves!

of breathing space, reminiscence, and the days gone by

2009-04-12T00:22:00.002+08:00

I've always had colleagues from other sbps or day schools ask me how my school could maintain its academic performance by constantly placing 1st among all sbps in malaysia. it seemed weird to them that my colleagues and i are at school well after the formal school hours are over. most of the time, we stay in school until well over 5.00 p.m. (well, not all of us, anyhow, but suffice it is to say that many of us do stay back until around 5.00), especially if there are programs scheduled for that particular week. i guess the concept isn't alien to me since i've been here the past seven years, so i guess it just grows on me.

i suppose it's true what people say, that sustaining the momentum is much more difficult than working hard towards success. which explains why our school calendar is practically full of activities every saturday..so much so that sometimes i find it difficult to cope, that i just wish i could get some breathing space, just so i could cope with the frenetic pace that has been so synonymous with my life for the past seven years. don't get me wrong, i do love my job, i love working...but i guess there are times when i just wish that i could step on the brakes, stop by the roadside, and smell the flowers... sometimes i just feel so bad i couldn't make it to catch up with old friends, because of my hectic schedule (which is so atypical of a teacher's)... and to find out that my cat was dying, through my sister's blog was just , i dunno... so not right. so yes, i am guilty as charged, of being busy...sometimes too busy to even have time for myself.. i think i can count the days this week when i was able to stay awake past 9 p.m. (cos i'd mostly be dead to the world by 9.30 most days this week).. so yes, i guess the strain of work for the past month (we've been working six consecutive saturdays this month) is starting to get to me..since i'm practically conked out by the time my head hits the pillow (and i'll only automatically wake up at 5.30 the next morning!)

there are times, i admit, that i feel like i'm being a bad daughter/sister/friend for not being able to be wherever i'm needed, mostly because of work commitments. cos in most instances, my work always comes first. but on the other hand, i always try not to have anything to do with work-related stuff come school holidays..cos those are the times when i can chill, spend time with family and friends, and to just be.

it's a tough life, working in a stressful environment where my colleagues and i have to constantly ensure that the kids perform according to the targets we'd drawn up. but then again, i wouldn't have it any other way. as hectic and crazy as it can sometimes get, it's my life.

what am i?

2009-03-29T01:04:00.005+08:00

got this one off facebook. parts of it are true. but then again, with the Internet being what it is, I guess it wouldn't hurt to take it with a pinch of salt....

Phlegmatic (Water)

You are the harmonizer and peace-maker. You prefer life to be peaceful and flowing, rather than bright, changing and vibrant. You are a loyal & steady friend. You have the power to merge the ordinary with the extraordinary, but because you may take your time to do this, many people may perceive you as slow or unenthusiastic rather than seeing the real you that is simply flowing and meditative.

An affirmation for you would be:

Visualize yourself floating Flowing, moistening, merging The reservoirs, river and streams of your body
Going deep within for the wisdom of life. The depths of the unconscious mind, Facing the darkness of the unknown,
Find the courage to be vulnerable, Aging with grace and health.
Massage your lower back,
Avoid cold foods and sugar.
Limit your salt intake.
And always listen to your dreams.

*I dunno about you, but I like #7. That's the advice I always tell my students.

A Prayer

2009-03-21T22:59:00.002+08:00

Another poem by Max Ehrmann

Let me do my work each day; and if the darkened hours of despair
overcome me, may I not forget the strength that comforted me
in the desolation of other times.

May I still remember the bright hours that found me walking over
the silent hills of my childhood, or dreaming on the margin of a quiet
river, when a light glowed within me, and I promised my early God
to have courage amid the tempests of the changing years.

Spare me from bitterness and from the sharp passions of unguarded
moments. May I not forget that poverty and riches are of the spirit.
Though the world knows me not, may my thoughts and actions be
such as shall keep me friendly with myself.

Lift up my eyes from the earth, and let me not forget the uses of the
stars. Forbid that I should judge others lest I condemn myself.
Let me not follow the clamor of the world, but walk calmly in my
path.

Give me a few friends who will love me for what I am; and keep ever
burning before my vagrant steps the kindly light of hope.

And though age and infirmity overtake me, and I come not within
sight of the castle of my dreams, teach me still to be thankful for
life, and for time's olden memories that are good and sweet; and
may the evening's twilight find me gentle still.

Desiderata

2009-03-21T22:41:00.004+08:00

a friend introduced me to this poem. definitely something worth thinking about.

Desiderata~by Max Ehrmann~

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.

Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

gluttony, part one

2009-03-21T21:24:00.007+08:00

there we were, staring (practically) at the succulent grilled ikan pari and the two condiments (kuah asam pedas as well as the dip for the fish), served with piping hot steamed white rice. simply describing it now (approximately one week after the fact) still makes my mouth water!

we'd made our way there (dora, yani and yours truly) courtesy of dora. the lunch crowd was still making their way into the restaurant (it was a working day!), which goes on to show that the food served there IS good. i'd vouch for this cos so far, the places dora introduced us served good food. at practically a steal. ok, maybe not so, but quite affordable and doesn't quite pinch the pocket, at least not that much.cos a whole set (rice+fish) is only RM 5.50.

the fish served was freshly prepared on the premises, and the moment you sink your teeth into the flesh of the fish, the yummy marinade simply sizzles on your tongue. and i was told that during the fasting month, there are really long queues for this ikan bakar.

it's nice to think that during these trying economic times, there are people who do not put profit before everything else.at times when people are thinking about their shrinking spending power, there are still people (like the proprietor of Ikan Bakar Fend) who are quite considerate with the prices of their food.

*so i guess i don't have to go all the way to umbai to get yummy ikan bakar now, do i? *wink*

malaysianness

2009-03-08T23:59:00.002+08:00

the saying goes that 'bahasa mencerminkan bangsa' . i geddit. having a language to call your mother tongue is a blessing, an integral part that defines your identity.

i've gotten my fair share of tongue lashing from a lot of people, simply because i am more comfortable speaking in English than in Bahasa Malaysia. so does that make me less of a Malay? or less Malaysian that a person who speaks 100% Malay, all the time?

cos to me, speaking in English is simply a better mode of communication. simply because, i am more comfortable speaking in English, and my flow of thought is smoother in English. oftentimes, when i am teaching in class, i'd have to stop explaining a concept since i don't know the malay equivalent of that particular word/ concept. I don't speak English because I feel more American or more British. or that I avidly idolise 'bahasa penjajah'. I speak English because i'm surer of what i'm saying.

the only thing that's not very malay about me is the fact that i speak english more than malay. my value system is still very much malay. having been brought up in the states for a few years does not necessarily make me condone premarital sex or other things that aren't accepted in the malay culture. as i always tell my students, when you go abroad, learn and emulate the good values. leave the bad ones behind.

so does that make me any less malaysian?

reflection

2009-03-07T23:30:00.002+08:00

that word called friendship, and feelings, are always two very,very sticky words.

it's amazing how we tend to hurt the people whom we love the most more often than not, and sometimes also take them for granted, consciously, deliberately, or otherwise. we always assume that they'd always be there for us, that they'd be able to put up with all the nonsense that we manage to come up with, that we conveniently forget that there's always a limit to what a person can take.

i've never been a person who's always had a whole gaggle of friends with me, but i treasure the few ones that i have. cos they're the ones i can count on when the world gets a little bit too crazy for me to handle on my own, to be able to knock some sense into my head when i seem to have rammed my head against a brick wall, to just be there whenever i need them.

and it's not like it's always been smooth sailing with them, either. like brothers and sisters, we quarrel. heck, there was a moment when we weren't on speaking terms, either, but, in the end, we managed to sort things out. now, with the benefit of hindsight, i believe that incident taught me who my real friends were, and still are. and I thank God for every single one of them.

it's a sticky thing, friendship and feelings. being friends doesn't necessarily mean having to agree with our friends all the time. there are times we have to let them see the truth, even though it may mean having to hurt their feelings a bit.

but for us to take our friends for granted, that, is cruel. especially if that person has always been there for us, through thick,and thin, and when our world seems as if it's going to explode. it's only right for us to return the favour.

fairweather friends are plenty to come by, but true friends are far and few in between..

to my friends, you know who you are. thank you for always being there for me, for sticking up with all my nonsense, for knocking sense into my head, for just being you. here's wishing for another 1000 years of your friendship!

a long tiring week...

2009-02-21T20:31:00.004+08:00

phew!! glad to have survived a long tiring week (make that TWO tiring weeks!) which is so typical of life in my workplace.. Granted, there were times when I felt like turning blue from the hectic pace of life in the past two weeks...but then again, a girl's gotta do what a girl's got to do.....

so here's a snapshot of why i've been occupied these past two weeks:

i) benchmarking trip (plus shopping) to langkawi!

this was ultimately the most fun thing out of all the things i'd been busy with. fun, because first of all, we only had to pay a token sum of rm50, since the rest of the fare was paid for by some very generous individuals.

our air asia flight landed at the langkawi airport at around 1pm. a fairly uneventful flight- but i had a hard time believing that the plane was about to land at the langkawi airport. my poor best friend lost her luggage, no thanks to some irresponsible individuals...so we had to wait for a while before making our way to our tour bus.

after checking in and unpacking, we made our way to go island hopping at Pantai Tengah. It was a really fun outing, even though I'm afraid of water, primarily because I can't swim. We went island hopping, to three of Langkawi's more popular islands: Pulau Dayang Bunting, Pulau Singa Besar, and Pulau Beras Basah.

The trip to Pulau Dayang Bunting was memorable for many reasons. First of all, because of the long trek up the many flights of stairs before we finally reached the lake from which the island got its name (or is it the other way around?). Some of us went swimming in the lake, some went boating, and some even took home some of the water at the lake (since legend has it that the water can help those who are trying to conceive). Initially I didn't want to swim in the water, but ended up dipping in the wading pool which they had prepared for the kids (so no risk of drowning there, lucky me!)

On the way back, though, one of the macaques on the island snatched the plastic bag in which i'd put my loafers.thankfully, i was able to bribe him with orange juice, with the assistance of some dear mat sallehs who were also touring the island.

Pulau Singa Besar is known as the place where the eagles would fly in to get food. we didn't get to stop at the island though- we were only allowed to watch the eagles as they soared and dived to catch the fish.

Pulau Beras Basah was quite beautiful, too. didn't go swimming there though, cos i didn't want to get my jeans wetter that they already were. word of advice, though, be careful while swimming in the beautiful waters of this island, especially at low tide, since you might hurt yourself with the corals and other creatures in the water.

the good thing about island hopping is that they'd snap your picture as soon as you descend the stairs to go island hopping. so after coming back to shore from the trip, you can claim your picture for rm 10. lucky that my picture was nice, so i wasn't embarrassed to buy it. :)

Dinner that night was fun, at a place called Bamboo Restaurant. the food there was divinely delicious, among the best i've ever tasted so far. we had crab, ikan bakar, prawns, chicken, tomyam, and a lot of other delicious food. the more interesting part came after that- we went shopping! - the guys included. so a lot of people carted off tons of chocolate, comforter, flatware, nonstick pan, pretty much everything that was on sale at the shop.

We went on our benchmarking trip the next day at mrsm langkawi (which was ranked the top performing school in the 2007 spm!) it was amazing to find out that their schedule wasn't as packed as ours was (and still is!) what i can say is that the school advocates student autonomy. They do have remedial classes for weak students for all subjects, every night; while the other students are provided with enrichment activities.

ii) form 4 orientation week / makan beradab 1

the form 4s registered two days after we came back from langkawi. yours truly was in charge of makan beradab, which went pretty ok mostly, except for the part where there were more guests invited than initially agreed upon. it's all good though, perhaps this'll be a lesson to everyone to always keep our eyes peeled for details..

iii) prefects' installation

ok, this hasn't happened yet, but it was one of the reasons why i was going bonkers last week. i was filling in for a colleague who was away on a meeting, and suddenly i was put in a spot when i the person requested that i be the emcee for the actual event since "i was doing such a good job". yeah, right. truth was, all the emceeing duties (three in the past week alone!) was getting to me. and, plus, it wouldn't be good if the audience wasn't going to look forward to my emceeing after this!

no pictures this time, thoug, since i haven't uploaded them yet. next post, probably... :)

whatever it is, my working life is nothing without 60-hour weeks (which is so atypical of a teacher!) but i enjoy every minute of it, since it's productive use of my time, anyway.

My newly discovered talent

2009-02-01T01:21:00.001+08:00

For someone as 'keras tangan' as me,i surprised myself when i managed to help decorate the cupcakes for the merentas desa winners.surprise,eh?

i got tagged...apakah?

2009-01-11T00:11:00.002+08:00

am not exactly familiar with all this tag business..but since i got tagged by ana all the way from bandung, buat je la.... so here goes...

1. 5 characteristics of your dream gal/girl

beriman (abis kalo x beriman camne nak ajar aku jadi baik...Kan?)
caring+loving
understanding
generous (your money is my money, bebeh!)
not necessarily handsome, but sedap mata memandang...

2. Lelaki/Wanita yang anda x minati sepanjang hidup

a narcissist
org yg suka mempoyo+ menjoborkan diri
liars
hypocrites
someone who ALWAYS insists that he/she is ALWAYS right

3. 5 perasaan anda sekiranya keluar dengan orang yang anda minati

amende la soalan nih...mcm soalan yg jawapannya adalah penampar jek.

rasa cam nak senyum je sepanjang hari (betul kan?)
gumbira tahap indescribable
jalan cam rasa x pijak tanah
like i'm the luckiest person on earth
heh. mcm dunia ni aku yang punya (pinjam kata-kata tan sri p ramlee)

4. Tempat Istimewa yang Ingin Dilawati Bersama Pasangan Anda

Mauritius (I'm an island babe...not much into hiking and the outdoors)
New Zealand
Eiffel Tower
2480 Cumberland Road, San Marino (tempat jatuh lagi dikenang, inikan pula tempat bermain...rindu wooo masa dok kat sini dulu)
London (double decker bus, harrods, guard yg pakai baju merah+topi tinggi tu-dun remember what they're called...)

5. Barangan Istimewa/Sesuatu yang akan anda hadiahkan kepada si dia

depends on the occasion la kot. but one thing i know for sure, i'll give that special person something that i know he likes / has been eyeing..to see that shocked+grateful expression on his face when he rips open the wrapper and peeks into what's inside the box is simply priceless.....

mangsaku seterusnya....angah, baby ilyana, dora, yani, nawal. your turn !!

crazy busy school week

2009-01-10T23:28:00.002+08:00

yep, school's officially started..and along with it came duties and responsibilities (not that not working for seven weeks meant that i had no responsibilities!)

lucky me got only 20 teaching periods this semester (as opposed to 24 last year! and that included est in the beginning!!) but thank God they later decided to let est be an elective subject, and , as such, i no longer needed to teach it. imagine having to scour textbooks and not to forget, the wonderful world of google to look up information on things i never studied in school... i mean, yes, i studied general science..but that was as far as it went..

funny thing though, about the schedule. by some weird, wicked twist of fate, i was 'fortunate' to be chosen as one of those who's going to be teaching civics. yeah, right. i mean, i am civic minded, yes. but to teach in bahasa malaysia when i've been teaching in english for almost seven years is a bit weird. but i guess it's just one of the challenges i've got to go through. i mean, if i'm able to speak in front of 600 people, teaching civics should come easy, right? i hope so.

and this year i'm no longer in charge of the debating team. switched camps to drama instead. i love debating and taking care of the debate team, to death. but then again, it should never be at my expense, at least where school holidays are concerned. for the past six years, i've been going to every single hksbp, as an adjudicator in the first few years, and later as team advisor. there's such thrill in having to prepare your rebuttals there and then when the opposition is trying to bring down your case. but then again, like i said, i'm also entitled to a full two weeks of my school holidays, like pretty much everyone else at school. and besides, it would only be fair if others also experience what it feels like being in charge of training and taking care of the debaters.

so far i'm having a pretty good weekend..went bowling with my sisters tonight. i've never been very good at bowling, but i scored quite decently for a novice. i guess we'll be making more trips to the bowling alley...and let's hope that the gutter ball will be history :)

t-2 days

2008-12-31T00:35:00.002+08:00

Time sure flies when you least expect it. But for what it's worth, this year's school holidays was better than last year's, on so many levels.

First is because I didn't have to invigilate the SPM exams this year.. Sitting in a room, for 2 hours, sometimes more, going up and down the aisles, watching over the kids, and seeing that they don't cheat, is just not my cup of tea. Lucky for me, the bosses let me off this year, since I'd already invigilated the previous year. yeay me!

What's the best thing you can do during a school holiday? Of course, catching up on sleep is one of the most popular things people usually do when they have the chance. We initially made plans to go to Bandung and visit my sister there, but then the ticket prices were a wee bit out of our budget. So scratched Bandung off the list, and we looked for a place less expensive, but no less exciting. So in the end we decided (no, wait, my DAD decided on Pangkor). And we had fun there.

And I got to spend time with my best friend, doing absolutely nothing. Well, not exactly nothing. We spent time, hung out together, to just be. It was fun since I'd normally be busy the first six months of the year due to debates, and from July-October preparing the kids for exams (which includes marking TONNES of essays, riddled with atrocious grammar errors, God help me!)..So the school hol's the only time I get to spend with them without having to rush, or worry about meeting deadlines, or essays that I hadn't marked yet.

And it's new year in approximately 2 days (and counting...) So yes, it's that time of the year when people are busy making resolutions, hoping that all of them get fulfilled. Personally, though, I don't think New Year's the only time for a resolution. The important thing is not that you only wish for something to happen; but, rather, you take steps to make your dreams a reality. Which is what I'm planning to do. But I guess it's enough to wish that 2009 would be a better year for all of us (amidst all the terrible predictions I've read in the papers!)

Happy New Year, everyone! Have a wonderful, happy, and blessed 2009! :)

pangkor, part 2

2008-12-28T19:39:00.005+08:00

me and Emi on board the ferry to Pangkor

iklan sunglasses kat Jetty Lumut

with our tour guide, Syahril Teh at the Kota Belanda's 'Batu Bersurat'

Pangkor getaway

2008-12-25T00:27:00.002+08:00

My dad had been mulling the idea of going somewhere this school holidays, partly because it had been ages since the whole family went anywhere for a holiday. And partly because almost everyone is home this school holiday...

The Pangkor trip wasn't exactly planned a few months in advance, since our plans kept changing. First it was PD, then Melaka, then PD trip got cancelled, then was back on, you get the picture. So finally, Ayah decided to go to Pangkor on Saturday (and we were supposed to go on Sunday!), so imagine the scrambling my sister had to go through, just to book hotel rooms for all seven of us.

So yes, Sunday morning came, and we made sure everything was in order. Before leaving, we wanted to board Ennet at the vet's in Section 13, but we arrived a bit late, and it was already closed. Luckily, Jingles at Section 9 agreed to board Ennet although the lady had initially hesitated (especially when she saw that Ennet was expecting). Luckily,though, she gave in when we said that we'd pick Ennet up on Monday. Phew. One problem solved.

The Pangkor trip was memorable for a number of reasons. First is the fact that it was our first family outing since ages ago, and second, would be the fact that my dad lost his phone in the ferry; which could have been because someone pickpocketed him in the ferry, or while we were busy getting out. And i also rode the bicycle since ages ago. It was pretty weird at first, cos I had problems adjusting to the bike, but things got better from there. And the ride to the beach was wonderful. Partly because there was no traffic, but mostly because the scenery was just breathtakingly beautiful. (I wish I could upload the pics but I can't find my phone's connector cable. Next post, maybe...)

And of course, the trip round the island just before we left for the jetty was just great. Our tour guide, Syahril, next to being a chatterbox, was a veritable source of information about the island. We saw people boat building, and stopped at a factory at the island where they process marine products like ikan bilis, ikan masin,and the like. We also went to Kota Belanda, and Batu Bersurat (not like the one in Terengganu) and a Chinese garden/temple (can't recall the name) where we saw three arapaima fish swimming in the water. (You can also see them at the Senawang Giant)

So, yes, although the trip to Pangkor was a short one, it was wonderful. Just what we needed to let our hair down, and just let the world go by for a while.

Now, time to think of our next destination.... :)

a little tweaking...

2008-12-19T00:42:00.002+08:00

i bullied my little sister into editing some pictures i had uploaded off the internet. and asked her to make a collage of the three norwegian forest cats i saved. and the above banner is the result. never mind that my blog name is no longer visible, and is instead replaced by the word 'adorable' (which refers to the cats, not the blog!)

so yes, we're all still missing our dear jack. but as the saying goes, life goes on. and it is only fitting to hope and wish that jack is somewhere, in a far better place, free of the suffering he had had to endure since this past year.

going 'nasi-kandar' - ing tomorrow! (i think the guy at the nasi kandar place put ganja on his food. cos i sure am addicted to his nasi kandar---especially thinking of the huge serving they offer!!!

ode to a dear friend

2008-12-17T23:57:00.002+08:00

if you gazed into his silver-gray eyes, i'm pretty sure you'd be charmed.in fact, it was one of the first things that drew me to him. that, and his oddly dark brown/black nose.

he was like the little brother we never had. even though he was just a cat, he was treated like one of the family. we'd always remember how much joy he brought into our lives.

i still remember that day around a year ago, when the vet diagnosed him with feline aids. at first i was shellshocked, thinking how in the world it was possible for such a thing. but jack being who he was, fought on, armed with our love and care. when i brought him to the vet last weekend (since he had refused to eat), she herself was amazed that jack lasted this long.

anyone who knew or remembered him would be surprised how scrawny jack looked in his last days. i had a hunch that the end was coming, since his legs were clammy when i touched them. he had difficulty eating anything other than liquid food since his gums were swollen, and she didn't recommend scaling for jack given his weak physical condition. and she pretty much told me that there wasn't much that we could do for him, except offer him supportive medication. given the benefit of hindsight, i feel that the doctor just didn't want to tell us that jack's days were numbered. with a single digit.

it was difficult to believe that the jack that we knew, who was so rambunctious and jumping around pretty much everywhere was reduced to a shell of his former self. i still remember how he would wake us up every morning, and request for his water bowl, and wait patiently for us to feed him (at the dining table, no less!).

i fed him some soup last night, which turned out to be his last supper, around 8.00 plus, not too long after my family left for a forum or something at the umno shah alam building. i remember gingerly picking him up, putting him on my lap, and feeding tiny amounts of soup my sister made for him. and not long after that, he had a seizure. scratch that. two seizures, which scared the living daylights out of me, since i've never been particularly very good at taking care of cats. my experience of taking care of cats would amount to buying them food and making sure they eat. my sisters usually played nurses and caretakers to the cats.

so i did what i could to comfort him, which was to ruffle his fur and assure him that he was going to be okay, and put him back in the cage. i promised myself that i'd check back on him the next time i came down.

so after taking some cold medications, i went upstairs to watch tv, and rest. and when i came down, i was surprised when i saw his mouth was slightly open, along with his eyes, so i gave him a gentle nudge. and that was when i discovered that he was gone.

there is a certain finality with death. in a sense, i'm happy that jack is no longer suffering. but on the other hand, i'm sad that we've all lost a dear, fluffy little friend who brought so much joy and happiness into our lives.

rest in peace, dear jack. you're sorely missed.

too little, too late

2008-12-08T01:39:00.002+08:00

The country was recently shaken (literally) by news of landslips and landslides, one after another. I guess it's Nature's way of telling us that we have, indeed, gone too far.

And of course, in true Malaysian fashion, experts and politicians started spewing out comments, which I find not only irritating, but coming too late. Yes, the site of the Bukit Antarabangsa landslide is not too far from the Highland Towers site (1.5 km approximately), and residents have commented to the MPAJ but did anyone listen, take heed, or take stock of what happened in 1993? I don't think so. I think it's rather too late now to tell us that the soil at Bukit Antarabangsa is not stable, not suitable for construction, etc, etc. I'm sure we are very much aware of all that.

It's definitely the wrong time to be pointing fingers or passing the buck. Yes, the landslide happened. What is best now is to make sure it does not happen again. Perhaps the powers that be can think before they act/issue statements on how best to prevent the situation from recurring.

So, who's to blame? The developers, for wanting to cash in on the 'exclusiveness' of the area? The residents, for wanting to live 'an exclusive address'? Or the local council, for giving a nod for the project to go on anyhow, despite the fact that there are serious risks involved?

Of course it is easier to point the fingers at a, b, or c..What is difficult is to take ownership/responsibility of what happened.

Let's just hope that such tragedy never recurs. My prayers to those who lost their family members and friends. Al-Fatihah.

transporting disappointment

2008-12-07T18:33:00.002+08:00

I had the good fortune to watch the premiera of Transporter 3 at the TGV Sunway Pyramid the other day, and I walked out disappointed.

The truth is, I had been looking forward to an exciting time at the movies..Don't get me wrong, I did enjoy the movie, but then again...

I had enjoyed the previous two installments of The Transporter movies, and was hoping that this time around, it would be the same, adrenaline-pumping non-stop actions, thrills and spills.

The movie had plenty of that. Actions, fight sequences..but that was all. There was not much plot to begin with. If there was, it was simplistic, and so darn slow. I mean, why is it that I had to wait halfway through the movie to find out exactly what Frank Martin's assignment was? And the lines delivered by Valentina (I don't remember the name of the actress, which goes on to further explain why the movie wasn't all that memorable)- well, they were cheesy, and wasn't interesting at all. I mean, throughout the whole movie, she only talked about two things - food, and sex. Sex, and food. Smacks right off intelligence, don't you think? And throughout the movie, I felt like giving her a tight slap for being soooooooooooo terribly annoying (or maybe two, or thirteen...)

So there's my take on The Transporter 3. A lot of action, not much story (which reminds me of Wanted, which I watched not too long ago...)

Maybe it's better if you'd just buy the DVD version from one the apeks at the DVD shop. Then probably you'd feel less cheated off your money...

(temporary) blindness

2008-12-03T22:00:00.003+08:00

i'm one of those people who would be literally blind as a bat without vision aids (which in this case meant, most of the time, contacts!)

i hadn't really paid much thought to how much being able to see really meant. not really, anyway, until i discovered not too long ago that one of my contacts was missing. and i had already planned to go out with a friend tomorrow..so, let's see... imagine going round the malls, in, say, mid valley, with only approximately 50% of your visual acuity (and not to mention the headache that would ensue from all the squinting i would have to do!)

it's not like i've never lost my contacts before. it happened, quite a number of times, but most of the time i'd always have a spare pair handy, just in case. but it wasn't quite the case this time..cos i only brought home an extra pair (which i am currently using!) , thinking that i wouldn't need to bring home the entire two boxes since i was only going to be on leave only for a month. my gut was gnawing at me to bring the entire set, but i dismissed it without a thought. and look where it got me.

i guess it's true what they say- always trust your gut instincts.

so there i was, looking for a tiny piece of plastic (which had probably shrivelled, since i last put it on yesterday night before going out for dinner)..and my hands were all over the carpet trying to find where the tiny thing was. apparently, it slipped from my fingers when i was storing it for the night...

lucky for me, I FOUND IT!

so, moral of the story, don't bring home an extra pair. BRING TWO- JUST IN CASE. or, GET TINTED CONTACTS. like the big bad wolf in 'the red riding hood' said, "All the better to see..."

futsal oh futsal

2008-11-30T00:56:00.002+08:00

my sisters had been trying to coax me to play futsal ever since the school holidays started, and i only agreed to play today.

part of the reason i had been pretty hesitant about it was the fact that i'm mostly an introvert..that, and the fact that i've never been very good at sports..so it naturally follows that i was not really into these kinds of stuff..but then i decided this morning, what the heck, just give it a try and see how it goes.

so off i went with my sisters (there were four of us)..and waited for the rest of the gang to show up. and then we were off. i guess i must've made a fool of myself there on the pitch (if you call it that, i'm not sure what it is actually called) with my futsal-playing skills which were, almost, let's see..zero. but the point is i had fun.. (i think i remember screaming more than i did playing, when the ball actually went to the other team...)

so despite the aches and bruises (i stubbed my toe somehow, can't really recall how that happened), i enjoyed it. wasn't really in it to help lose weight or anything health-related. it was all in the name of fun. good ole fun.

let's hope my motivation stays afloat until next saturday (our next game)...

what's the juice....

2008-11-28T23:08:00.004+08:00

with yoga? I don't understand all the hullaballoo surrounding the issue. I mean, yes, yoga has its roots in Hinduism. So does that mean that if I go and attend my friend's wedding ceremony in a Sikh Gurdwara it makes me less of a Muslim, which then makes my belief in Islam somehow diminish? What about those uncles and aunties who practice Qi Gong, which has roots in Buddhism? Does that also erode their faith in the Almighty Allah? Cos I don't see them rushing to pray in a Buddhist temple after their Qi Gong sessions if that's what you mean...

To me, it's rather shallow and simplistic to simply assume (the key word being assume) that because people practice yoga, therefore it automatically follows that their faith will be eroded. Because the way I see it, most people see yoga as a form of exercise, which is not as strenuous as, say, weight lifting, or bench pressing. And yes, because they teach you to employ the proper breathing techniques, therefore you will feel the aches and pains you previously experience to lessen, and gradually disappear.

I have always believed that inculcating religious values does not necessarily mean that you always have to take the prescriptive approach. I'm sure people don't like it when you say 'You must do this, this, this...and cannot do this, this, this....' without being given the proper, logical explanation why or why not. If you're talking to a four year old, of course you can say 'Because I'm your mommy and I said so, and you know Mommy is always right!' Even then, there are four year olds who are not contented with such a dismissive answer and would demand an explanation until they are satisfied.

It's the same way with us.

I'm sure people would gradually be able to accept if, indeed, yoga is prohibited, as the Fatwa Council has decreed. But the explanation given must be logical, and not be done in such a way that it insults people's intelligence.

I'm not writing this because I am a yogi (someone who practices yoga), but because the idea had been idling in the corner of my mind, and I just wanted to put my thoughts into words. Even the Prophet Muhammad says that dakwah should be done with 'hikmah'... there are, I'm sure, other ways to inculcate and instill religious values other than taking the prescriptive approach.

Perhaps that is the question that the powers that be should answer.

Good Fences... Make Good Neighbours?

2008-11-28T22:50:00.002+08:00

My dad has a passion for gardening, which, sadly, I don't inherit. He could just buy flowers or seeds and the next thing you know, it's starting to sprout flowers, and soon, bear fruits, before you could finish saying 'supercalifragilisticexpialidocious'.

But this post isn't about his passion for gardening. Well, not directly, anyway. It's just that the next door neighbour, who, apparently needs a long lesson on effective communication and respecting other people, decided to 'tuang pasir' in my dad's proverbial 'periuk nasi'..simply because the leaves had been growing all over the place. I'm not really arguing in anyone's defence, but in my opinion, whenever there is an issue to be settled, it is best if the interested parties sit down and talk about it. I mean, as much as the government's 'Budi Bahasa Budaya Kita' campaign goes, i see no budi, or bahasa from the aforementioned neighbours. What's wrong with saying 'Daun dah lebat sangat tu, baik potong yang mana patut, takut nanti nyamuk membiak.Sekarang kan musim denggi?' Is that so hard to say? But I guess the neighbour, Mr R and Mrs M, have problems communicating, cos the only thing they know is to pick up the phone and report to the Shah Alam Municipal Council. stupid idiots. I don't see the point of you wearing the tudung all the way to your navels if you don't know how to communicate nicely to people around you. It's such a waste, really. You send your children to private, religious schools. But you yourself don't practice the values promoted by Islam, rather than the five rituals. Bad decision, I tell you.

I guess, yes, good fences make good neighbours..particularly if we do care for each other, and try to respect each other's differences. It doesn't hurt to communicate and try to work things out before bringing in the third party, and , in addition, instilling distrust in yourself, against your neighbours.

thank God for the holidays!

2008-11-18T00:03:00.002+08:00

so glad that the school hols are FINALLY here! i had been so looking forward to it. funny though, when it finally arrived, i had a hard time believing it. to have SEVEN total weeks of not working was just plain weird, after working so hard the whole year. the first part planning the activities, and the second executing the plans, and the final part analysing what went wrong, and how to fix it. for someone who was so used to 10-hour work days, not having to come to work for such a long time seemed so surreal in the beginning. but i'm beginning to love it though. time to catch up on so many things that i missed and loved during the days i was so busy working. like, my beauty sleep, for one. and catching up with family and friends.

this year, short as it may seem, taught me so many things. in retrospect, i learned the true colours of some people. and i learned the true meaning of friends, and friendships. about how being different isn't necessarily such a bad thing; and how, no matter how hard you try, it is simply impossible to just please everyone. what is important is that the bosses know i'm doing a good job, or at least try to. that,even if i might take some time, i do, in the end, get the job done; and not just talk about it but never get anything done in the end.

was planning to go to bandung for the holidays with the rest of my family to visit my sister, but it fell through in the end. was thinking of doing some shopping in bandung, too, but i guess i've got to shelve my plans for a while. maybe next school holidays. (which gives me more time to save some $$ before i go shopping!)

i guess it's true what ppl say, that even though it's the students who r sitting for the exam, the teachers are the ones who feel the jitters...i was almost hyperventilating when my boys were sitting for the english paper last wednesday, and i do hope (and fervently pray) that they will do well, for english,especially, as well as the other subjects. scoring first place isn't as difficult as trying to maintain being in 1st place among all SBPs for the 3rd year running... but we all tried (as we all have been) all our best. so now it's up to the Big Guy Up There.

happy holidays, everyone! have a good one!

enough already!

2008-09-20T02:20:00.003+08:00

for someone who is not so politically inclined (i consider my privilege to vote to be as far as it goes for being politically involved!) , i really am sickened by the way things are going nowadays. i mean, yes, the whole nation voted for their choice on march 8th, after which the current govt was formed. so i believe the next order of business is how to make this country a better/safer/more harmonious place to live in.

i'm not saying that the government is all perfect (everything is trial and order,i believe ) so yes, they make mistakes. but it is not fair, and nor is it equally right nor responsible for the opposition, to simply complain that the government is not doing a good job. and if we believe that the government is not pulling its weight, the responsible opposition play its role, to provide check and balance so that the government will not slacken. i don't understand why, in a government 'by the people,for the people', the people don't respect the choices that they themselves had made. i believe that if you don't like the present government, well,tough,cos you made the choice yourself. nobody pointed a gun to your head and coerced you to vote to anyone's advantage. there are due processes of law to be followed, and i believe we should follow the rules in this sovereign country. kalau tak puas hati, tunggu the next general election la.....

i mean, there are greater troubles ahead of us. the world is on the brink of a recession, brought about by the american economic crisis..so I believe that we should stop bickering and just get on with our lives. we do what we're supposed to do, carry out our obligations and responsibilities, so that this country we call home will be exactly that, a home.

I came across this quote from zig zigler,and just thought of sharing it here:

"some people find fault as if there is a reward for it"

and, on that note, remember the ugly malaysian? let's bury him for good.

criticisms

2008-08-24T09:08:00.002+08:00

does it always pay to criticise everyone and everything? do we always have to make everyone hear our opinion just because we have one?

i've never been one against criticisms (and yes, i can take them in good stride!), but I just feel that if we should criticise anyone (or anything,for that matter), it should be constructive, rather than destructive, criticism.there is no point criticising someone if it meant to make us look good. if we need to criticise someone for not doing a good job, then by all means, do criticise him or her. but we should also be responsible to point that person in the right direction. it's not enough to just tell someone that he or she is wrong. it's also equally important to tell that someone how to not make the same mistake again.

we're all very good at destructive criticisms, by pointing out other people's mistakes and follies. it's easy to point fingers and say a,b,c, are all wrong. perhaps we should all learn to be a bit more constructive with our criticisms. maybe then everyone will live happy lives.

funny sunday

2008-08-24T09:02:00.003+08:00

for someone who is so not a morning person, I laughed at myself this morning..for waking up early and, as a result, coming to work earlier than I was supposed to. I'm not laughing at the fact that I woke up early, just that when I got to school, i discovered that the program was supposed to be at 10.30 a.m instead of 8 a.m., so I had a good laugh there. I guess this is what happens when I'm on autopilot. (since I wasn't really willing to end my school hols just yet!)

to those who sent me birthday wishes, thank you very much.

how i wish the school hols were longer. seriously.

of public speaking and other things

2008-07-26T22:49:00.003+08:00

anyone who said teachers have no problems speaking in public certainly didn't look hard enough (or far enough, for that matter!)

i had the privilege of attending a public speaking programme held recently in my school, and, i must say, it was darn good! not because it was organised by one of my friends, but simply because it was good. period. end of sentence. and it was testament to my belief that one does not necessarily have to speak using american/australian/scottish/british/nz accent to sound credible, to be believable, or to sound just plain impressive. cos, at the end of the day, what matters is that we're able to get our message across.

even though it wasn't my first time emceeing in school (regardless of whether in english or bm), my stomach was in knots after knowing that the speaker concerned was about to reach our school. it wasn't the thought of speaking in front of my fellow colleagues that scared the living daylights out of me, but it was the thought of having an outsider, a person who's very good at public speaking (not just in Malaysia,but also internationally!) listen to every single word that i say was just, simply put, nerve wrecking.

but,at the end of the day, it was all good. it was good to have someone point out our flaws and, more importantly, how to correct them and make sure that we don't repeat the same mistakes while speaking in public. it's easy speaking to your students in class as they don't pose any threats to you, and neither are they intimidating.but try speaking to the whole school and having almost 500 pairs of eyes trained on you and just listening to the 'pearls of wisdom' coming out from your mouth...the point is, it's not easy. regardless of whether you teach english, maths, biology, civics, or even physical education. nothing quite shocks the system as having someone force you to speak in public. some of the most macho,adventurous,and daring people i know turn the exact opposite the moment they're asked to speak in public.

the point is, as hard as it is, and as life threatening as it may seem, the ability to speak in public should be one of the skills one should acquire. not because it might make you popular (although it might be true in most instances), but simply because it makes you more outstanding (not instanding, as azmi put it!) companies and recruiters look forward to hiring people/graduates/individuals with good communicative skills.

contrary to popular belief (of some really narrow minded people,anyhow), speaking (good) English / being more comfortable speaking in English does not make me any less Malaysian, or any less Malay, for that matter. i love my country just as much as any Ali, Abu, Maniam, or Ah Chong. If i happen to like speaking in English more than i like speaking in Malay, it's just because i'm more comforitable expressing myself in english. i can get my point across quicker,and, more effectively, cos i don't have to think of the appropriate Malay equivalent. and,yes, i agree that maths and science should continue to be taught in english. not because i teach english, but because english is the language of science and technology. cos at the present moment, we pick up,learn, and acquire technology from other countries..

or perhaps, all school kids in malaysia should now learn japanese and korean? (since they're not english speaking countries, but are technologically advanced anyhow)...

perhaps someone should think about that,then...

pointing fingers?

2008-05-30T21:50:00.003+08:00

I came back from the 35th edition of the HKSBP three days ago, and remembered a conversation I had with a friend on the declining standard of English especially among schoolchildren. I mean, when I was in uni, we were exposed to the different methodologies of teaching reading, speaking, listening, and writing to our students, but when we came to school, the real battle zone, the picture was different. dramatically.

I've never been one to believe that one should sound American/ British/Australian to be believable, to speak 'good English' . To me, what matters is that as long as people understand what we're trying to say, and we manage to get our message across to our target audience, it's all good. It pains me (and my delicate lil eardrums especially) when students mispronounce words or speak using atrocious English (sometimes just to show off or just to sound sophisticated to others).. cos I believe that as important as it is for the students to get good grades for their SPM exam, it is equally important that they should be able to communicate effectively with people from all walks of life. and frankly, i believe that nowadays, proper pronunciation, grammar, listening and speaking skills have taken a backseat to getting an A in the English paper. Which is sad. Cos at the end of the day, yes, students can get an A. but then again, the A they obtained is useless since they can't even string a single grammatically correct English sentence!

And believe me, it's not easy trying to speak English when the environment around you thinks that 'speaking English makes one less a Malay/Malaysian'. To me, I feel more comfortable speaking English than Malay, since I know I can get my message across more effectively. Yes, in a way, I am fortunate, having learned English since I was an infant. But that should not be made an issue, really. I am as much a Malaysian as someone who speaks fluent Malay. Yes, some people do not have parents who speak and/or understand English at home. But that should never be an excuse. If you want it bad enough, you will make it happen.

Yes, it is important to master the language.simply because it's a tool for communication. I mean, we can't expect people from all around the world to speak Bahasa Malaysia now, can we? And besides, it adds to your X-factor.and makes you more marketable in the job/scholarship market.

well, that's what i think, anyway.

after the dust settled...

2008-05-28T11:32:00.003+08:00

hksbp ended yesterday. we lost the second round to kusess, who ended up in the finals against rmc. personally, of course i was sad that we lost. but i was ok with it as it was a fair fight. true, we had good substance. but then, debating isn't simply about good stuff to say. at the end of the day, it is all about hammering all the nails in the coffin. it's all about being able to convince the adjudicators that we presented a better case than our opponent did. kusess was able to clearly spell out what their case was, and managed to point out the flaws of our case. it was as simple as that.
personally, though, i am proud of this year's team. despite the two f4 speakers having zero experience in debating, and having had training only for three months, they were able to get this far. given proper training, and a bit of brushing up, they could be a force to be reckoned with in the future.
and,yes, i am looking forward to the final. although i much prefer if we were on stage instead of kusess, but that is another question altogether...

hksbp

2008-05-24T23:38:00.003+08:00

the national level hksbp kicked off three days ago... and it was the longest bus ride i've ever been on.. primarily because a) since the basketball team failed to qualify for the national level hksbp; therefore, b) we had to go to jitra with the sbpi selandar bus. given the tendency for most malaysians to work on 'malaysian time'; we were left hot,sweating,and not to mention pretty short on temper when the bus finally arrived at 10.35 a.m (instead of 9.30 as was originally planned)!!
and for the first time in my years of going to hksbp, i lost my voice.which was funny, considering the fact that i wasn't the one debating day in and day out. but i guess the weather was,well, a bit too hot to handle. thankfully, though, i'm beginning to get my voice back (and can now speak without having to strain my vocal cords even though i still do sound a bit hoarse).. but then again, that's part and parcel of my job...
so far we've done well, considering the fact that we've won two out of two matches so far; against sbpi kubang pasu (where megat was best speaker) and sm sains dungun (where kamal was best speaker). hopefully we kick some butts tomorrow against semsas kuantan, qualify for round 2, proceed to quarters, continue to the semifinals, and earn our place in the much-coveted finals! so much money,time,and effort; and not to mention, sacrifice, have been spent on training and getting ready for hksbp...and the win would just be the icing on the cake!cos i still remember the heartbreak and heartache i felt when we lost the final leg of the prelims against asis (who were the eventual champions)...and i don't think i can go through all that anymore...

but,for what it's worth, i hope things work well tomorrow..and that all our hard work and sacrifice will be handsomely rewarded! :)

like they say, 'saser is the pinnacle of glory' and it shall continue to be....

Pangkor, Part 2, and then some...

2008-05-21T13:48:00.002+08:00

Yours truly had the opportunity to go on a paid holiday in Pangkor last weekend..At first I was hesitant to go, since I had prior engagement the Sunday nite I was due to return to Seremban. But then, paid holidays don't come by so often, and neither do I usually have the time to go on holiday since most of my time is devoted to work.and work. and work. (until infinity, to borrow a friend's expression...

Spent most of the journey to Pangkor (on the bus) catching up on my lost hours of beauty sleep..and the ferry ride from the Lumut jetty to Pangkor Island didn't really disappoint. (although, I was, I admit, shocked when the ferry stopped at a perkampungan nelayan, thinking that it was Pangkor, which, thankfully, wasn't!)

The accomodation provided wasn't too bad,either, considering we were travelling on a shoestring budget. after all, we were only using the lodging just to sleep, so it wasn't much of a problem, really.

The fun part of the trip came later that evening, when my friends and I went on a boat ride around the island. it was fun to see the different faces of Pangkor: Monkey Bay, the crocodile and whale-shaped rocks, Pulau Giam..among other things. the feel of the breeze blowing in your face was just something so wonderful i can't find words to do justice and describe it...

If I had any regrets on the trip, it would be cos it ended so quickly. i had fun, though. and it definitely helped in easing up the stress that was bottled up inside me.

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and, oh, we're leaving for hksbp in kedah tomorrow. at the moment i'm taking a breather from all the scrambling i had to do today, to make sure that everything's in order. and we're having a friendly with stj this afternoon, in apprsoximately an hour....

but for what it's worth, i do hope we'd win this year. cos we have to redeem last year's loss to asis (who were the eventual champions)..

that said, i'm so glad the holidays are here... :) have a good day everyone!

holiday for the soul

2008-05-19T00:24:00.002+08:00

just came back from a weekend trip to pangkor approximately 3 hours ago. it was tiring, to say the least, but in a good way..

the trip was what i needed after slogging hard at work (for the past 3 months!)...so you could imagine just how high my stress level was..had a great time going on a boat trip around teluk nipah, and later spent some time in the water (even though i am terrified of water since i can't swim, but that's besides the point). i mean, it would be a waste if i didn't do it, since the water was soooo beautiful.. i ended up with fistfuls of sand in my pockets later, but it was nothing compared to a rejuvenated spirit..

wish the trip was longer,though. so that i could've snapped more pictures...

and another good thing was i finally got to see my baby nephew.... faris muzafar (kinda reminds me of the angkasawan dude!)

here's hoping to a good week ahead! and a good showing at hksbp in kedah....

that wonderful little thing..

2008-05-08T08:57:00.003+08:00

called blog..is exactly that, a wonderful little thing. :)

Nowadays,every Ali,Ah Chong and Muthu is scrambling to have a blog. It's the in thing, the flavour of the month. Even young primary school children have blogs nowadays.. To some people, blogging is just a therapy for them, to just vent off some steam. To others, blogging becomes their mouthpiece, to disseminate their ideologies,opinions,etc,etc. And I see nothing wrong with that.

Of course, your blog being your own personal 'property', you can write about virtually everything and everyone. However, I believe that despite itching to exercise your freedom of speech/thought/opinion, I don't believe in using a blog to slander people/call them names. There are still certain conventions to adopt, to ensure that while you do get to exercise your free will, you don't victimize anyone in the process, just to get your point across. And it's not fair to say that all bloggers are bad. It's like saying 'Guns don't kill people. People do'. I think it's rather cowardly for someone to 'baling batu sembunyi tangan' (when writing defamatory statements about people and hiding behind pseudonyms). I mean, if you strongly believe in whatever it is that you're writing, show it...show yourself!

*my first attempt (after so many times) of writing a serious blog* kinda hard having to think up all these words to try and sound serious (i was, when i wrote this entry,though!)

oxygen, please?

2008-04-04T17:24:00.003+08:00

if i had a wish, it would be for more time..cos right at this particular moment, 95% of my time is devoted to work.... (not tht i'm complaining, cos it does keep me occupied and prevents me from wasting time unnecessarily)...but seriously though, even with the 24 hours God has given everyone, i think i need another 24 just so that i'd be able to breathe.normally.like other people..
cos there would come a time where work is going to be routine, something that you do on auto pilot every day, and because it brings home the paycheck. i pray, with all my resolve, that i won't turn out that way. it's sad to see someone change from one end of the spectrum to another... from someone who goes to work out of his or her love for the job, to someone who goes to work simply because 'that's all I know to do'. Granted, work is never easy, at least not all the time. There comes a time where u just feel like you want to scream cos buried up to your nostrils in work, and then comes another thing which needs to be done right this instant, because it's also important.. And then you feel like screaming and sprouting profanities to that certain someone who doesn't understand the idea of having a life.. who doesn't understand that despite our devotion to the job, you just need some space. for you to breathe,and, quite simply, just be.

Some people might question my intentions for choosing to stick around the place where I've been working for the past six years, cos yes, there were spats, tears were shed, etc.etc. But what they don't understand is the fact that i love my job. here. I love the kids. Every year I would resolve to say 'this is going to be my last year working here..I'm going to find another job etc.etc. ' but then, when I look at the kids' faces, all my resolve melted away. Add that to the fact that I'm fiercely guarding my privacy.I can be my own person and have my own private life. And besides, what fun is it to live in the same town where you went to school, college, and work? This country isn't very huge..it's probably even smaller than the whole of California combined...
Yes, I love my family and parents and extended family and relatives...but that doesn't mean in any way that I should give up my right to a private life just so that I'm closer to home. The way I see it, it's better to live somewhere not that near, and to be appreciated; than living close to home but taken for granted. Cos I'm tired of having to justify why I still haven't transferred after six years. the point is, I DON'T WANT TO. I love my life, I love my job, I love the kids here. And my friends. We do have our disagreeements,true. But that's what makes it life.
So, no. I'm staying put. Not planning to move anywhere anytime soon, I think. I know I can be (and am) stubborn when I need and want to be, and right now this is what I want. As important as everyone is in my life, I do need my own private space. Where I can just chill, and just be.

and get some more oxygen.

crazy life

2008-04-01T15:19:00.002+08:00

last week was one of the most stressful periods in my life (this week being the other one, cos we've had to work seven days, oh!)

but the good thing that came out from last week was the graduasi.it wasn't flamboyant or anything, just a little something we threw together to celebrate the 2007 5ers..was kinda disappointed that the head boy and his assistant were a no-show...they cited various reasons for not coming....work being one of them, and a relative's wedding the other one. to me, it was just a case of 'i don't care'.and it smacks right of indifference..and not appreciating the hard work and effort that my colleagues and i have put in to make the event a success. cos we weren't expecting the boys to come and shower us with presents..what would have been more memorable was their presence. cos, for all you know, it could've been the last time they would see their friends in the batch before all and sundry fly off to faraway places. (and hard-to-pronounce towns and countries!)

on a different note, life is crazy. we work so hard to get more money. supposedly, to be spent. but at the end of the day, we work so hard, for such long hours, that we don't even have time to ourselves, to do our own things, let alone spend the hard-earned money... (that doesn't mean i'm rich, by the way..) and in that regard, it is ironic. we work hard from dawn to dusk. we spend such long hours in the office. but still, at the end of the day, we're still unhappy.

so there's one of life's great mysteries....go figure it out!

amalgamation of my thoughts

2008-03-09T16:52:00.003+08:00

So, that's it. the much-awaited 12the general elections are over. and, definitely, many surprises sprung up along the way.

I've never been a person who cared much for politics.But as I am writing this, thoughts are swirling in my head. The Opposition have managed to give a wake-up call to the BN, who, I think, have been pretty complacent and overconfident that they would have just swept all the seats on offer this edition of the general elections. It's amazing, this thing they call the people's power. Clearly, the people are the ones who choose the leaders. And I believe that these gentlemen (and ladies) should not only be nice to their constituencies come the election time (as is usually noted). Leaders should be working for the people, to help develop the country, first and foremost. Not for monetary or political gains. Ironically though, it is popular belief that being politically active will make one rich. One may be richer in a sense that he knows more people, get to know more friends, and build a network. But the misconception is that being active in politics does not necessarily make you rich, money-wise. Heck, if that were true, my family would probably be living in a penthouse somewhere in the posh KLCC area...*a girl can dream, can't she? *

That said, I'm not exactly a person who would readily pledge my allegiance to any particular political party. I'd rather vote for the person if I know he's done a good job for people in his constituency. I guess that's the one thing that makes me different from my parents who are staunch supporters of BN. But whatever it is, I'm happy to have been able to exercise my democratic right to vote. More so when other people have to go to war just to have a say.

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On a different note, next week seems to be a pretty full one for me. I've got to head back to Seremban for the announcement of SPM results (I hope we'll be able to maintain our excellent track record so far!) on Wednesday, then sitting for my competency exam on Thursday. Then it's three days holiday before school resumes on Monday.Hope I'll do well for the exam, seeing that I haven't had the time to study since I've been bogged down with so much work! And if anyone says being a teacher is easy, he's dead wrong. Cos most of the time after I come back from work, my system just is about to shut down. I put my head on the pillow, or cushion, or even the floor, and off I go into dreamland.
Physically, teaching doesn't tire you. Mentally, it drains you. Right till the last drop. But still, I can't think of a better job. I can't stand a desk job, sitting in the same spot in an air-conditioned office, going for one meeting after another. I'd rather be communicating with people than lab apparatus,or machinery.I'd like to think of myself as a people-person. Even though I'm mostly introverted, I need to talk to people to guarantee my survival. It drives me crazy coming home to an empty house, with just the telly and laptop as companion.

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Change. Many people shudder from it. Some people look forward to it. But whatever it is, change is inevitable. We change every day, whether we realize it or not. So do the people, the world, around us. What we can do is embrace change. Face life with an open mind,an open heart. Embrace life. Change happens. Deal with it.

fare thee wells...

2008-03-08T19:52:00.000+08:00

It's final. My boss has already transferred to another boarding school (a far more challenging one, from the looks of things) Rumours had been practically swirling around the grapevine for a while now, before we heard the formal announcement that he was leaving. All of us knew that he was going to leave us, it was just a matter of knowing when.

And even though we anticipated his transfer, when the actual announcement came, some of us were left speechless. And suddenly feeling somewhat insecure,unsafe. Cos then we started thinking of who his replacement would be. And, again, the rumour mill started churning out names,one after another, on the person.

There were some disgruntled individuals who were only too happy to see him leave. But, with the benefit of hindsight, I realize now that he's the best boss I've ever worked with, in my six years. When he was around, we benefitted from many things. None of which (ok, maybe some) the other schools would have been rewarded with.

And,for that, I am grateful.

I'm never good with goodbyes..during my trainee teaching period, I only let the kids know it was the very last day I was going to see them. Cos I'm just not comfortable with the whole idea of goodbyes,I guess.

But for every beginning, there has to be an end. For every meeting, there has to be a farewell. And, besides, we'll still be seeing him around, since he's still working within the system..

Mr. K, here's wishing you good luck in your new school. Thanks for the memories!

And, to borrow a saying from an Irish blessing:

May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall softly on your fields. And until we meet again, may God hold you in the hollow of his hand.

thank god for holidays

2008-03-08T01:55:00.000+08:00

Haven't been much of a prolific,productive anything lately..Cos usually writing, or blogging, rather, in this context, helps vent off some of the negative vibes swirling around my head (the byproducts of stress and an awful lot of work,thankyouverymuch).. Cos it's only March, but from the look of things, I already have my year mapped out for me (not by me, for me)..

But I'm not complaining.. (ok, a little, maybe....)

Even though work takes up most of my time, it's the one thing that defines me,who I am, and partly, the reason for my existence..I didn't find teaching- it found me. Not that I have problems with the teaching part (save a few stubborn sods)..but it's rather the extras that are taxing. On me, my time,in short, my life. The public finds it easy to point the finger at the teachers every time a child does something wrong..but they forget just as easily that teachers should not be solely responsible for a child turning out the way that he does.. cos u also have parents, peers, and other elements of socialization thrown in the mix. Equally ignored is the fact that teachers are also humans, with feelings of their own....

People conveniently are duped into thinking that teachers have it easy. They get off days during school holidays (while getting paid!)..but they haven't been looking at the whole picture. Go into any boarding schools here and you will find the teachers working hard day and night just to ensure that their students will score distinctions in the exam.And, without being paid extra. (if I were paid extra, I think I should be able to afford that sleek Beemer by the end of the year...) And even then, should there be courses being held during the school holidays, it's still work for the teachers...

Like I said, teaching found me. I grew to love being a teacher, to touch lives of young people who would, one day, be someone in their own country. The best reward for a teacher is not money. It is the satisfaction of seeing my students score distinctions in their exams, and subsequently being offered places in overseas universities that most could only dream about. It's the joy in running into my ex students and to discover that they have done well for themselves. and most of all, when I hear the words "Thanks for everything,Miss.I'm someone today because of you"

I planned on venting off my huge workload while blogging..and somehow ended up getting melodramatic...but hey, for what it's worth, I love teaching.I love my kids. (I just don't like some of the people I work with) then again, life never really gives you what you want..so if life gives you lemons, make lemonade!