oxygen, please?  

Posted by Hyllma

if i had a wish, it would be for more time..cos right at this particular moment, 95% of my time is devoted to work.... (not tht i'm complaining, cos it does keep me occupied and prevents me from wasting time unnecessarily)...but seriously though, even with the 24 hours God has given everyone, i think i need another 24 just so that i'd be able to breathe.normally.like other people..
cos there would come a time where work is going to be routine, something that you do on auto pilot every day, and because it brings home the paycheck. i pray, with all my resolve, that i won't turn out that way. it's sad to see someone change from one end of the spectrum to another... from someone who goes to work out of his or her love for the job, to someone who goes to work simply because 'that's all I know to do'. Granted, work is never easy, at least not all the time. There comes a time where u just feel like you want to scream cos buried up to your nostrils in work, and then comes another thing which needs to be done right this instant, because it's also important.. And then you feel like screaming and sprouting profanities to that certain someone who doesn't understand the idea of having a life.. who doesn't understand that despite our devotion to the job, you just need some space. for you to breathe,and, quite simply, just be.

Some people might question my intentions for choosing to stick around the place where I've been working for the past six years, cos yes, there were spats, tears were shed, etc.etc. But what they don't understand is the fact that i love my job. here. I love the kids. Every year I would resolve to say 'this is going to be my last year working here..I'm going to find another job etc.etc. ' but then, when I look at the kids' faces, all my resolve melted away. Add that to the fact that I'm fiercely guarding my privacy.I can be my own person and have my own private life. And besides, what fun is it to live in the same town where you went to school, college, and work? This country isn't very huge..it's probably even smaller than the whole of California combined...
Yes, I love my family and parents and extended family and relatives...but that doesn't mean in any way that I should give up my right to a private life just so that I'm closer to home. The way I see it, it's better to live somewhere not that near, and to be appreciated; than living close to home but taken for granted. Cos I'm tired of having to justify why I still haven't transferred after six years. the point is, I DON'T WANT TO. I love my life, I love my job, I love the kids here. And my friends. We do have our disagreeements,true. But that's what makes it life.
So, no. I'm staying put. Not planning to move anywhere anytime soon, I think. I know I can be (and am) stubborn when I need and want to be, and right now this is what I want. As important as everyone is in my life, I do need my own private space. Where I can just chill, and just be.

and get some more oxygen.

crazy life  

Posted by Hyllma

last week was one of the most stressful periods in my life (this week being the other one, cos we've had to work seven days, oh!)

but the good thing that came out from last week was the graduasi.it wasn't flamboyant or anything, just a little something we threw together to celebrate the 2007 5ers..was kinda disappointed that the head boy and his assistant were a no-show...they cited various reasons for not coming....work being one of them, and a relative's wedding the other one. to me, it was just a case of 'i don't care'.and it smacks right of indifference..and not appreciating the hard work and effort that my colleagues and i have put in to make the event a success. cos we weren't expecting the boys to come and shower us with presents..what would have been more memorable was their presence. cos, for all you know, it could've been the last time they would see their friends in the batch before all and sundry fly off to faraway places. (and hard-to-pronounce towns and countries!)

on a different note, life is crazy. we work so hard to get more money. supposedly, to be spent. but at the end of the day, we work so hard, for such long hours, that we don't even have time to ourselves, to do our own things, let alone spend the hard-earned money... (that doesn't mean i'm rich, by the way..) and in that regard, it is ironic. we work hard from dawn to dusk. we spend such long hours in the office. but still, at the end of the day, we're still unhappy.

so there's one of life's great mysteries....go figure it out!