if you gazed into his silver-gray eyes, i'm pretty sure you'd be charmed.in fact, it was one of the first things that drew me to him. that, and his oddly dark brown/black nose.

he was like the little brother we never had. even though he was just a cat, he was treated like one of the family. we'd always remember how much joy he brought into our lives.

i still remember that day around a year ago, when the vet diagnosed him with feline aids. at first i was shellshocked, thinking how in the world it was possible for such a thing. but jack being who he was, fought on, armed with our love and care. when i brought him to the vet last weekend (since he had refused to eat), she herself was amazed that jack lasted this long.

anyone who knew or remembered him would be surprised how scrawny jack looked in his last days. i had a hunch that the end was coming, since his legs were clammy when i touched them. he had difficulty eating anything other than liquid food since his gums were swollen, and she didn't recommend scaling for jack given his weak physical condition. and she pretty much told me that there wasn't much that we could do for him, except offer him supportive medication. given the benefit of hindsight, i feel that the doctor just didn't want to tell us that jack's days were numbered. with a single digit.

it was difficult to believe that the jack that we knew, who was so rambunctious and jumping around pretty much everywhere was reduced to a shell of his former self. i still remember how he would wake us up every morning, and request for his water bowl, and wait patiently for us to feed him (at the dining table, no less!).

i fed him some soup last night, which turned out to be his last supper, around 8.00 plus, not too long after my family left for a forum or something at the umno shah alam building. i remember gingerly picking him up, putting him on my lap, and feeding tiny amounts of soup my sister made for him. and not long after that, he had a seizure. scratch that. two seizures, which scared the living daylights out of me, since i've never been particularly very good at taking care of cats. my experience of taking care of cats would amount to buying them food and making sure they eat. my sisters usually played nurses and caretakers to the cats.

so i did what i could to comfort him, which was to ruffle his fur and assure him that he was going to be okay, and put him back in the cage. i promised myself that i'd check back on him the next time i came down.

so after taking some cold medications, i went upstairs to watch tv, and rest. and when i came down, i was surprised when i saw his mouth was slightly open, along with his eyes, so i gave him a gentle nudge. and that was when i discovered that he was gone.

there is a certain finality with death. in a sense, i'm happy that jack is no longer suffering. but on the other hand, i'm sad that we've all lost a dear, fluffy little friend who brought so much joy and happiness into our lives.

rest in peace, dear jack. you're sorely missed.